Freedom

Once you enter the grown up world of marriage, children, jobs, bills, home ownership, etc, you forget how freeing it is not to live by a set schedule. I have all the freedom in the world as far as what I do with my days. My income is set now with no chances for increasing it as I’ve done in the past with overtime or extra jobs. Therefore, as long as I stick to that budget, I have no real worries.

I’m not worried about my health because that’s completely out of my control. I’ve learned over the years that no matter what I do, the unexpected will happen and probably at the most inconvenient times possible. There’s nothing I can do to stop disaster from hitting my life so worrying about it is an absolute waste of time.

I have to remind myself of that daily, though, as I keep trying to control everything in my world. I’ve always been the care taker, the one to make everything right for my kids, the one to turn to for help. And now, though I’m still that person, my resources are limited. My energy is sapped by chronic pancreatitis and I’m totally aware of my limitations on making anything right for anyone. The will is there but that’s not realistic. Things happen that no one can control or expect. You can’t prepare for every single calamity that might occur.

Despite that pessimistic view, I’m an eternal optimist. I believe in preparing for things that may happen though I’ve let go of worrying about those things. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs and you have to learn to enjoy the ride no matter how frightening it may be. That long trip climbing may end up being the most fun you’ve ever had once you reach the top and head down. That curve that jerks you around may end in straight track for awhile. And when the ride comes to an end, it’s part relief and part sadness that it’s over.

That’s life. My faith in God is strong and unshaken and I know what’s waiting for me at the end of my ride. Jesus is waiting with open arms. So worry? It serves no purpose.

That’s freedom. True freedom. Letting go of believing you have control over anything other than your own reactions to what occurs in your life. Today, I hope you grab hold of your own freedom and embrace the life given you fully.

Have a wonderful day!

Published by

Sandra Davenport Collins

Mother of three girls, two son-in-laws. Grandma to two boys and two girls along with four dogs and four cats. Living life fully with Chronic Pancreatitis and Fibromyalgia.

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