New Day

Opened my blinds a few minutes ago and I’m struck once again with how lucky I am. I could see my daughter sitting down to a cup of coffee and my granddaughters running around getting ready for school. It’s a sight I never take for granted and am constantly thankful for.

The only view that would improve that would be if my other daughters and grandkids lived within my sight, also. My favorite view is seeing those faces as often as possible.

My challenge to you today is to be grateful for those you love and who love you in return. Be mindful of that love and don’t take it for granted. Celebrate it and remember loves who may have passed on or just out of your life. Love lives on forever and knowing my parents were just as happy to catch sight of my children and I makes my heart feel warm.

With the weather dipping below freezing, it’s wonderful to feel warm inside. I wish you that comforting feeling today. Enjoy your day!

Short hospital stay

Waking up in the morning with a pain level of over 9 is not a fun way to begin a day. Having the pain climb to over 10 (which means I cry nonstop-no control over that at this point) and then having to wait on the ambulance to finish 2 other runs before they could get to me… Well, lets’ just say that Fri is better forgotten.

Forgetting Sat is also a good idea, too. The pain was under control by then but the nausea was not.

Woke this morning and knew the crisis was past and that I’d be able to come back home. But, just because I’m home doesn’t mean my day has suddenly turned out ok. I’m exhausted but can’t sleep. Try to read and my eyes cross. Forget sewing. Taking a walk? Not quite up to that.

I had plans with one of my daughters for today. We were heading to OH for the night. Planned on going to an art museum and several antique malls. In the morning, we were going to a book sale. Disappointed not to be able to do those things with her. I treasure out times together.

It’s actually a good thing that my body is not feeling well because I’d be very tempted to just go anyway. I have trouble cancelling things that are important to me and my family. I hate to disappoint anyone. But, if I tried to do what we’d planned, there is a good chance I would just feel worse. Not that I would even be able to drive down the driveway yet today! There are just times I need to accept the answer is “no”. Once I accept that, I can move on.

I think I’ll move on to bed for awhile! If I can get a short nap in, maybe I can read when I get up. That would make my day so much better.

I wish you all a nice day and that you can challenge yourself to accept when “no” is the answer. It’s sometimes a hard word but it’s usually for our own good. Find the joy in the change of plans you’ve made and you’ll find that that curve you hadn’t expected to take may lead you to even greater happiness that you ever dreamed of.

Clay

Yesterday, I was bound and determined to plant my Fall bulbs. Gorgeous day with sun, a nice breeze and cool temperatures. I started by trying to dig off the top layer of where I want my garden to be. That wasn’t happening so I grabbed by my tall bulb planter and started digging out holes. The first went quite well. The second, not so much and the third was a complete failure.

Why was I having so many issues? Well, the main reason is that our soil here is clay. When wet, it’s very sticky and solid. When dry, it’s like cement. My bulb planter is completely blocked with this solid mass of semi-wet clay. Nothing I had could force this out.

When I lived in OH, gardening was easy. You dug the dirt then planted bulbs, seeds or plants. Cover it all back up with more dirt and mulch and you were done besides weeding now and again. I keep forgetting that it’s not like that here. Every year, I dream of beautiful gardens and every year, I’m defeated by this clay. I’m just not strong enough to deal with it.

I refuse to be defeated this year. I have a dream and I’m going to make it a reality. Yesterday stirred up my Fibromyalgia so I’m taking a break till next week when I will have a new strategy to meet my goal. I’m going to have to invest in some tools to break up the clay and get bags of dirt to mix in with the current soil so the bulbs will stand a chance.

While I’m upset at my inability to deal with this right away, I’m reminded that most good things don’t come easily. Hard work and perseverance may pay off, but without a workable plan, it may not. I attacked this garden with vigor but no real plan. I do that with crafts, too. I jump right in and do things my own way. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Other times, I plan so much that I never actually get around to doing anything!

Balance is what I lack most of the time. So my challenge today is to work out a balance between what my body is still capable of doing and what I can’t do any longer. Then make my plans on how to go about things to get what I want. I want beautiful flowers so that’s my goal. The right tools should provide the balance so I just need to make sure I choose wisely. This is the formula for a productive life, also.

Hope you have a balanced and enjoyable day!

Change

It’s funny how some people instigate change and others resist. I’ve spent my entire adult life doing little things to change up my homes. I sew new curtains, move furniture around, add a plant or two or change up wall d├ęcor. No one ever knows what to expect when they come to my home because it’s rarely the same as it was. I go to other people’s homes and nothing ever changes except the addition of a knickknack or something small like that.

When I walked into my youngest daughter’s house this morning, all I could do was laugh. A few weeks ago, I caught her ripping up her living room carpet and she’d repainted the room. Today, she’s removing layers of paint in her kitchen in prep for painting it. I would say she’s the lucky (or unlucky!) recipient of my restless genes.

My oldest daughter has my wanderlust genes (youngest, too). We’re constantly planning our next trip. She’s taken me to places I’d never dreamed of going. Never thought I’d enjoy going to!

And that’s why I embrace change. Changes in my home, changes in environment, changes in my professional life. Now that I’m unable to have a professional life, I find other ways to shake things up in my life. I’m constantly trying new crafts and new things. I’ve completely changed my life since I got really sick the first time. I’ve had to reinvent myself many times over to adjust to the changes in my health. I tried to fight them for the longest time but now that I’ve come to the acceptance part of grief, I enjoy changes again.

Today, I challenge you to change something in your life. Remove something negative, add something positive. Accept that you are wonderful exactly as you are and remove the thoughts that you aren’t. Lift your head up and be proud of all you’ve done and all you will do.

I wish you a wonderful day!!!!

Grizzled

I was out walking in the yard yesterday morning and one of the pictures I took has been lingering in my mind since. Something about it but I didn’t realize what it was till I downloaded it this morning.

20181104_094937

There is one tree in the foreground with discoloration on it. The three in the background have lost or are in the process of losing their leaves, quite beautiful. It reminds me of myself and my daughters! The older I get, the more my freckles turn to age spots. The more wrinkles show up. The rougher my skin gets. I’m the tree in the foreground.

It’s so strange how the mind works. I didn’t take that photo with anything in my mind other than the format of it. It struck my fancy so I took the shot. But, my subconscious must have recognized something and that’s why it stayed on my mind.

Do I feel grizzled and old? Some days, I do. There are days I feel much older than I am. Other days, I can’t believe I’m as old as I am. When I walk past a mirror, I’m surprised by how old I look. At other times, I think “Well, I don’t look as old as I feel right now. That’s something.”

Looking at that photo this morning, I realized that no matter what my body turns into as I age, there is still beauty there. The older tree stood out in the photo as unique.

I hope that today, you’ll accept my challenge to find beauty in yourself. Sometimes that’s hard to do. We are so critical of ourselves and can’t see what others do. Try to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Recognize that you are beautiful in so many ways. Physical beauty doesn’t always last and it’s not important (although every single person is beautiful on the outside, as well, though it’s hard to see it yourself). It’s the life inside that counts. That grizzled, discolored tree is still very beautiful and full of life. Being different than you used to be can be a good thing. Shake things up a little and encourage you to try new things.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Bulbs

Flower bulbs intrigue me. They start out so ugly and then something beautiful emerges. It takes patience to wait for that to happen and patience is not my strong point.

I’m contemplating whether I have the strength to dig and plant the fall bulbs I’ve gotten or if I should wait for a couple days. Busy day yesterday so I’m feeling that but it’s so nice outside, hate to waste the good weather.

My challenge today is patience. Patience to wait until I feel less pain before I do something that I know will increase it just by the actions involved. Patience to plant the bulbs correctly so they have a strong foundation to grow in. Patience to wait all winter to see if they’ve survived.

Patience is rewarded. I know it’s hard to deal with but calming myself down and doing things slower are always worth the extra time. Patience to accept that today is going to be a painful one but that tomorrow may be better. Patience to change my plans and adapt them to what I can do that particular day. I do this automatically now, most of the time. But some days, I need to remind myself that it’s ok to wait. I’m looking forward to the spring day when my bulbs are in bloom and I can say it was worth it.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day!

Happy November!

I don’t know why, but I’m taken by surprise when I see it’s Nov. Instantly, I’m preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas like it’s coming up tomorrow!

Every day is Thanksgiving for me. I never stop counting my blessings because every day I’m given is a gift. Sometimes, it’s hard to find things to be thankful for because things seem to just snowball and you find yourself freefalling with no end in sight.

My challenge to you is for this entire month. Stop your freefall. Even if it’s just for one moment, you can stop and think of one thing that’s good in your life. Doesn’t have to be a big thing-maybe just the sun shining or a memory of a better time. Once you think of one thing, maybe more will come to your mind and your freefall will be held in check for awhile. That gives you a chance to recoup your hope and joy in this life. That may provide you with the strength to face that fall again with renewed energy. I know it helps for me.

I wish you all a peaceful day!